Iraqi journalist, Muntader al-Zaidi, hurls shoes at Bush and lands a lucrative deal with Nike.

The Interior Department has taken disciplinary action against more than a half dozen workers who accepted lavish gifts, partied and in some cases had sex with employees from the energy companies they regulated.  Pictured above, Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne tells a particularly worthless worm of a staffer that he’s been a bad boy…a very baaaad boy.

Diane Sawyer sits with former call girl Ashley Dupre and the head of former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (which Miss Dupre says came with the silver platter).

Twice married (to women!) Prop 8 supporter Chuck Norris swoops in to battle Gay Anarchy at an anti Prop 8 rally in California.

World leaders battling a historic economic crisis agreed Saturday to flag risky investing and regulatory weak spots in hopes of avoiding future financial meltdowns.  However, some dissension among the Japanese delegation is being handled by a traditional method of conflict resolution.

Presidential hopeful, John McCain reacts to Dick Cheney’s ringing endorsement this morning.

Having had enough of Joe Biden’s heckling during an event in Ohio yesterday, Presidential hopeful John McCain warns his fellow Senator of the knuckle sandwich that awaits.

McCain Campaign Manager, Rick Davis, admiring his army of Robo-callers as they begin interrupting the dinner hour of Americans in battleground states.

With three weeks to go, Obama appears to be in the driver’s seat.  

“Come and Get It!”

Let’s just say that Cindy McCain’s cameo in Hustler’s upcoming feature, “Nailin’ Paylin”, didn’t score high with test audiences.

As U.S. and world financial markets spiral, Governor Palin, flanked by Senator John McCain and Cindybot 2.0, warns us of the clear and present danger to our safety and security that is Bill Ayers.

A trader sits outside the New York Stock Exchange at the end of another dog day (Dow down 5.11%).  

Presidential hopeful John McCain enjoys some straight-from-the-teat pig milk with friends Tigger and Piglet before heading off to Mississippi to match wits with Barack Obama tonight.

President Bush shows Congressional leaders our $700 billion pile of magic beans.

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

Master of the squeezebox and Secretary of the U.S. Treasury, Henry Paulson serenades reporters and Congressional leaders with a song he wrote about his $1 trillion plan to avoid an imminent meltdown of the U.S. financial system.

After 7 1/2 years of wondering what’s behind that dang door, President Bush finally discovers the Gay Wing of the White House.

Attempting to silence talk that North Korean leader Kim Jong-il is gravely ill, the Information Ministry of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has produced this photo of their leader at New York’s recent Fashion Week.

Responding to charges that Dept. of the Interior employees responsible for collecting billions of dollars in federal oil royalties operated in a “culture of substance abuse and promiscuity” that included having sex with energy company employees, accepting lavish gifts and rigging contracts to favored firms, Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne says, “Drill here! Drill now!”

A surprise addition to the O.J. Simpson legal team, Don Gorske of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin who has eaten over 23,000 McDonald’s Big Mac sandwiches since 1972, enjoys another one as a hungry Simpson looks on during jury selection for his trial in Las Vegas, Nevada.

At the conclusion of his speech at the RNC, former Mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani says to the delegates, “Before I go, I’d just like the opportunity to say Nine-Eleven one more time.”

Rudy is the King of 9/11.

The fabulous Lady 9/11.

Presidential hopeful, John McCain and his VP pick, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin practice a favorite scene from Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi that they’ll perform on stage at the upcoming Republican National Convention.

Presidential hopeful John McCain explains that the 5 ½ years he spent as a guest of the North Vietnamese government clearly gives him the right to wear his underwear over his clothes.

 

Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama watches his wife Michelle speak on television from the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Kansas City, August 25, 2008. Obama is joined by Alicia Girardeau, her daughters Hannah and Lindsay, and their family dog, Marbles; happily attacking his privates.

In the midst of the controversy surrounding his inability to recall the total number of homes he owns, Presidential hopeful John McCain is brought back to this nine-bedroom Phoenix mansion the McCains swapped for a condo downtown by the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Presidential hopeful, Senator Barack Obama practices his synchronized swimming routine in preparation for the upcoming Democratic Party National Convention.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are all smiles after viewing the ‘Waterboarding Thrill Ride’, an animatronic diorama of a waterboarding scene by artist Steve Powers at the Coney Island arcade in New York.

“Although this is one handsome baby,” says former Presidential hopeful, John Edwards, “he clearly bears no resemblance to me.  None whatsoever!”

North Korean leader Kim Jong-il views the Paris Hilton for President video with serious interest … very serious interest.

Unable to to come to terms with the Green Bay Packers, Brett Favre keeps in shape by practicing with some lowland gorillas in the Republic of Congo yesterday. 

“The real question, my friends, is who is better prepared to answer that call at 3 a.m.? Some celebrity with no real experience, or a straight-talker who has been practicing with this banana phone?”

“See,” says Israel’s Defense Minister Ehud Barak, “I’m at least 7 centimeters taller than this putz.”

Daytime talk show host and pet lover Rachael Ray launches a new line of super premium dog food and treats called Rachael Ray Nutrish as Indian riot police beat back a hungry mob.

The Taliban has announced that it is poised to launch an offensive against bitter enemies, misty mountains, rainbows, surfing bulldogs, Hello Kitty ™ and soft-serve vanilla ice cream. 

Enraged by the rejection of his Op-Ed article by the New York Times, presidential hopeful, Senator John McCain tears the head off a Times reader in a Washington park yesterday.

An Iraqi demonstrator holds up a portrait of Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr during a protest following Friday prayers in Baghdad’s Sadr City.

Few would have believed that a Hell’s Angels facilitated World Conference on Dialogue would achieve its lofty goals.

“He’s right here,” President George W. Bush shouts during this morning’s press conference.  “The pink elephant…RIGHT HERE…You don’t see him?”

Miss Panama, Miss Venezuela, Miss Israel and Miss Zombie Island pose at Diamond Bay Resort in the Vietnamese city of Nha Trang on the eve of the Miss Universe pageant.

Vice President Dick Cheney says he’s looking forward to the next phase of his public life in the dog-eat-dog world of competitive eating.

 

Republican presidential candidate US Senator John McCain (R) stands with his new economic advisor, an unnamed Sadhu holy man,  as he take questions from the media yesterday.

Concerned that the candidate “is all skin and  bones”, a supporter tosses Senator Barack Obama a shrimp po’boy during a town hall meeting at McEachern High School in Powder Springs, Georgia, July 8, 2008.

Hesitant to admit that they misplaced the originals, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Czech Minister of Foreign Affairs Karel Schwarzenberg try to pass off magazines Dr. Rice bought in the airport as documents of a treaty they signed in Prague July 8, 2008, allowing the U.S. to build a missile defense radar thigamajig in the Czech Republic.

Sad but true, but even tiny funsters, Bunnyman & Pig Boy can’t get Bush & Rove to see eye-to-eye again.

Presidential hopeful, John McCain gets set to deliver the “old one-two” on an unfortunate bull during the San Fermin bull run on July 7, 2008, in Pamplona, northern Spain.

Senator Barack Obama comforts a student while they discuss her financial aid situation. “Just look at me,” said the sobbing co-ed, “I can’t afford to go to the tanning salon anymore and have to rely on that bright thing in the sky. Sometimes it’s behind puffy white stuff, and it goes away, like, every night. How can I get an even tan with that thing? It’s just not fair!”

Fresh from his stunning victory at the 2008 U.S. Open, Tiger Woods goes toe-to-toe with Tampa Bay pitcher Jeff Shields.

McSame and Same-sex couples embrace and hold hands at a symbolic group commitment ceremony for same-sex couples in West Hollywood, California.

“Dang, that’s a real neat trick, your Majesty!”

Proving that you can make a kegerator out of a container once used to store radioactive material, Iranian technicians get set to enjoy a few cold ones at the Uranium Conversion Facilities in Isfahan yesterday.

Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad waves to journalists before being tackled by Dallas Cowboys Safety Roy Williams for a 4 yard loss.

Under the protection of armed guards and the world’s smallest bodybuilder, Aditya ‘Romeo’ Dev, First Lady Laura Bush blathers on about something or other at an enormous cost to U.S. taxpayers this morning in Afghanistan.

Private equity investor Carl Icahn asks, “a jar of WHAT is flying toward my head?”

Accompanied by their respective mimes, President George W. Bush and Senator John McCain meet in Washington D.C.

Presidential hopeful John McCain bears a striking resemblance to Popeye’s estranged father, Poopdeck Pappy.

Japan’s Yoshito Okubo, Oman’s Ahmed Hadid and Senator Barack Obama battle for the ball at a qualification soccer match for 2010 FIFA World Cup in Yokohama, south of Tokyo June 2, 2008.

A reveller throws tomatoes during the “IV Tomatina Colombiana” festival in Sutamarchan, Colombia as author Tom Wolfe looks on.

The ghost of Ronald Reagan and protesters from the Gujjar community throw stones and pieces of bricks towards Indian policemen during a demonstration in New Delhi May 29, 2008.

“Puny humans! Your pathetic weapons cannot stop me, Mariah Carey!”

George W. Bush is incredulous as Australia’s Ricky Ponting (R) joins his team mates to celebrate the win against West Indies during the final day of their first cricket test match in Kingston, Jamaica May 26, 2008.

Court Overturns Polygamist Sect Custody Decision: Tito Ortiz Reacts.

The Price of Gasoline on May 21, 2008: Mission Accomplished.

Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is briefed on some last minute adjustments to the David Archuleta robot. Ahmadinejad is predicting an Archuleta landslide victory on American (Great Satan) Idol.

Through the magic of moviemaking, George Lucas appears at just the right time to snatch a homerun ball away from a boy (who appears to be clutching a beer bottle).

Describing himself as, “hungry as all get out,” Qatari Emir Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani (C) flanked by Lebanese Parliament house speaker Nabih Berri (R) and Hezbollah Siniore official Mohammed Raad (L) heads to the buffet during a break in their first meeting in Doha May 16, 2008.

Sean Penn displays the ants that were “literally” crawling all over him hours after he attempted to quit smoking cigarettes.

Unable to lure Barack Obama into a debate on the federal gasoline tax holiday, Senator Hillary Clinton recently took on noted economist and grocery cart collector, Billy Fields. Despite the Senator’s withering attack, Fields maintained that even though it represents a huge commitment, he is a big enough boy to take care of a puppy.

Spooky, no?

McCain, visiting one of his homes, knew it was in Georgia, had no idea it was in that Georgia.

John McCain is pulling out all the stops in an attempt to identify with Latino voters.

Hey, hey, hey…What’s happening?

I think I know why Obama is so relaxed as a public speaker.

John McCain stunned reporters this week with his first “bowlside” news conference. The candidate expressed regret over his choice of a burrito for lunch and described “strange rumblings” on the left side of his belly. Senator Larry Craig, undeterred by criticism, remains in the men’s room.

Maverick Senator John McCain’s new campaign poster hopes to draw on the popularity of the new Hulk feature film.

Did you see the photo of Monsignor David Banner reacting to Bush’s visit in the NYTimes today? Yikes indeed.

I am beginning to hear rumors that Hillary’s timetable for endorsing Obama is only a clever ruse designed to allow her time to consolidate power and plan for evil.

Hillary’s new tour bus.

Hillary ‘appears’ in Myanmar.